Last night, after putting all my kids to bed, I tucked myself into my own bed next to my deliciously foxy husband. I kissed him goodnight, grabbed all the blankets and holding them close to me, turned over and went to sleep.See, I was sane when I went to sleep.
But when I woke up, I remembered how motherhood can make you feel like you’re crazy. My husband was gone and in his place was my tiny-for-her-age, six-year-old daughter. I had that disoriented feeling you get when the phone rings while you’re sleeping and in the moments while you’re bringing the receiver to your head, you are dizzily asking yourself, “What am I supposed to do with this thing, again?”.
I looked at the clock and realized I had overslept by an hour. An hour! I flailed my way out of bed and realized too late that my legs weren’t on board with this decision. I realized this as I careened into the easel I have set up in my room. It made a racket.
That brought me to the fully awake state and I managed to work my legs again and I went running to the kids’ rooms barking orders about getting up and getting ready and why did everyone pick today to sleep late??
But their rooms were empty. Beds made. Pajamas on the floor, as if they’d each been dematerialized where they stood. There’s that disorientation again. Feeling a little like I’m crazy. Starting to wonder if it’s Saturday.
I walk downstairs, finally awake enough to realize that my hair is outrageous and I had smeared yesterday’s mascara enough to have created a convincing illusion of having been popped in the face by a Bad Guy.
I get downstairs and see all the kids – sitting at the table, ready for school and waiting for the oatmeal that dad made for them.
Sometimes, motherhood doesn’t make you crazy. It makes you fall in love a little more.
Any disorientation I felt was gone when my youngest boy took a bite of the oatmeal and said, “Mom, I like your oatmeal better. Dad doesn’t put any sugar in his.”
There it is. Right back to earth. The kids are having a meal and Frank is complaining about his food. All is right in the world again.